Bounce Back My Ass

Postpartum is a wild experience. Between the raging and indescribable hormones. To in my case, the numb c-section scar/lower belly and excess skin and shelf, it becomes super difficult to recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror. As if our mental health wasn’t enough let’s add freaking weight gain (read to the same tone to that of Mia Rinaldi- PrinCESS of Genovia). Plus, there are those mamas who crush their pregnancy and don’t gain any weight, so they look almost identical and as beautiful as pre-pregnancy (this is not me). It’s so tough not to compare or not feel pressured to “bounce back” as everyone always says.

Despite knowing you provide sustenance for your baby and provided a home for a growing baby for 10 months. And despite knowing you had significant abdominal surgery (look up a video on YouTube if you’re curious and have a strong stomach) in order to save your baby’s life, there is still this nagging in the back of your head to look better or get back to pre-pregnancy as fast as possible. Which is also bonkers because your baby loves you unconditionally and they’re in no rush for you to “bounce back”.

I remember being so excited to breastfeed because I was told I would drop weight. That never happened…I don’t know if it was my struggle to nurse or my 90 year old metabolism, but it was and is still frustrating. Instead, I nurse and am hungry trying to produce milk but end up gaining weight and producing “just enough”.

To add to the societal pressure to be your pre pregnancy self, I am lucky to have had an on again off again relationship with an eating disorder for a while prior to pregnancy, as well as go through diabetes in pregnancy. Honestly, my body is confused to the highest heavens and my metabolism probably works at the rate of a menopausal woman. All jokes aside, despite eating healthy, drinking green juice, and working out; the number on the scale never changes, the size 12 pre pregnancy jeans still don’t fit, and there is still confusion looking at an unrecognizable person in the mirror.

Mamas go through hell and back whether our labor is natural or a c-section, yet we’re supposed to bounce back while our hormones are still unbalanced, while we struggle to eat well balanced while we prioritize our babies, while we are returning to work and life before baby. You know what I say? Hell to the no.

Especially with societal pressures already placed on women outside of pregnancy or post-partum; no mama should ever be told to bounce back again. No mama should have to battle immense and unrealistic pressures placed on her while she’s trying to figure out who she now is as a mom and who she is as (insert your name).

So from this badass mama to another (or whoever is reading this) —- bounce back my ass!